Adoption Story

I will use this page to link sections from various post I make along the way that are strictly related to our adoption journey.  One spot for you to quickly get brought up to speed on our adoption(s).  From the beginning to the end, it should no doubt be an adventure full of tests of faith and requirements to trust and obey.  We covet your prayers and support so please follow along….we need you!  – Jason

Pulled from:  Ummmm……what are we talkin about? – July 2008

So here is the announcement, my beautiful bride and family of 2, have decided to adopt (2)! I can’t begin to express the great joy, great fear, and great peace that have come with making this decision. I will spend more time over the coming weeks detailing this new calling we have decided to accept, the road God has taken us down to get here, but for now, let this serve as our proclamation to the world that the Hyatt family will someday soon grow from “four 2 six”! Did you catch the blog title reference there…..don’t miss it otherwise you will forever be wondering what the heck “four 2 six” means.

Pulled from:  The chicken or the egg…. – July 2008

If you want to adopt in Haiti (or I suppose in general for that matter) you either fall in love with a particular orphan/child that God puts in your path and you pursue them OR you pick a particular orphanage/adoption agency and pray that God’s perfect will leads you to your children that way.

Several of our friends adopting from Haiti were drawn to their children first and they subsequently started the adoption journey. In this case, the EGG came first!

For us, God turned our hearts to Haiti and planted in us the desire to adopt children from there but we have not been introduced to our children yet. So we have to wade through all the orphanages and somehow determine which one is going to be the place that introduces us to our children. For us, it looks like the CHICKEN comes first!

Honestly, it is hard. Very hard. I am practically paralyzed by the enormity of this decision. It just seems like it would be easier if we “knew” which orphanage our children lived in.

We are learning a LOT about faith and trust in our Lord this week. We are choosing to trust that His will is perfect and that He will lead us to the orphanage (chicken) that He will use to ultimately introduce us to our kids (eggs).

Pulled from:  Adoption Update – Sept. 2008

Our adoption dossier is coming along nicely.  For those of you that were like me a few months ago, clueless, that is pronounced “Dos-e-a”.  I still have a tendency to pronounce it like bull “dozer“.  Yep, I’m a redneck.  Basically it is the compilation of all our adoption paperwork.

We started our home study last Friday and expect to have that complete by the end of this month.  Our medical and psychology exams are done.  Most documents have been gathered.  The final steps will be notarization, authentication, and translation…..oh the joy.

We still have to gather some personal references so if you see our name on your caller ID…RUN!  No really, please don’t; we need your help.  We will give you at least 24hrs to get it completed!

We hope to have everything completed by the end of the month and submitted to Haiti by mid October.  We still don’t have an orphanage nailed down and we could definitely use your prayer on that.  The one that we were hoping to use is full and will probably not have slots available for new kids by the time we need.  We have other options but all have there negatives so we are just moving forward with our paperwork and asking God to make it clear to us what direction to go when the time is right.

Thanks for everyone’s prayers and support during this time.

Pulled from:  The rest of the story – December 2008

There is no doubt in our minds that God has led us down this path of adoption from Haiti….NO DOUBT. He has faithfully affirmed our decision many points along the way.

I have never been one to believe that because God called you to something He will open all the doors, clear out all the obstacles, make every day sunny, put smiles and helpful hearts on everyone you encounter, and generally make the journey a walk in the park. In fact, when I read the bible, I read stories of great men and women of faith that had to kick open closed doors, blaze trails of great trepidation, overcome obstacles around every corner, and basically risk their lives with each and every step they walked with God. I absolutely believe that God makes his will known, but we often equate that to a path that is safe and easy.

Guess what, nothing about our journey is safe and easy. When God told us to adopt from Haiti, it was basically that simple, follow Him on a life changing journey of adoption; it was a calling to trust Him. Let me say that I am much better at catching the big vision stuff my God lays before me….the details….I tend to develop those on my on in a way that I think best possible to achieve the end goal.

God’s call: Adopt from Haiti, trust Me.

My details: Adopt 2 children from Haiti. Siblings. One girl between the ages of 2-4 years old, weighing approximately 25-35lbs. One boy between the ages of 0-2 years old, weighing approximately 7-25lbs. Their names should be Audry and Abraham. They should refer to me as King Jason and feed me grapes….oh sorry, that was part of the details I made when God told me to get married; I bet you can guess how that worked out for me.

Anyway, you get the idea. None of those are bad things, actually, they are all great. Just not exactly as God intended for us; but it does make me think about how many times God has put a calling in front of me, one that I accepted, one that I started walking down the path towards, but one that I didn’t quite achieve according to His original plan because I started filling out the details according to my on ability. That is another topic for another day I suppose.

All that said to tell you that over the past few weeks God has gently stripped away our details, showing us some of his and allowing us the opportunity once again to TRUST Him!

Several weeks ago we received our first referral from our orphanage, a two year old girl named Naomie. We were filled with excitement but within hours we begin to try to figure out how this single referral of a 2 year old girl was going to fit into our plan for 2 children. We sat on her referral for weeks, praying that God would show us how this was going to fit into our plan. Begging God to tell us whether or not we should adopt her.

Then about a week and a half ago we got a call from our adoption counselor letting us know the word on the street in Haiti is that starting January 7th, 2009 adoption laws on the books from 1974 were going to be enforced. The summary of that law is this: married couples wanting to adopt must both be 35 years of age, married for 10 years, and have no biological children. One, Two, Three strikes….we’re out.

Everything was immediately called into question; well almost everything. We never questioned whether or not we were supposed to be adopting from Haiti. That’s the funny thing…that would be the logical question to ask but never for one minute did we question God’s calling. We just questioned the DETAILS….and what we heard was our details were good but they weren’t PERFECT! And God’s plan is perfect.

So after a lot of questioning and a lot of prayers we decided to forgo our details and accept His in order to continue in this journey of faith. With that, with great joy we accepted Naomi’s referral. As to how, or even if, our family will get from four 2 six….we will trust God and watch that unfold with everyone else. The one thing we know for sure is there will definitely be MORE in store for us in the journey of faith. There will without a doubt be more crossroads, more bends in the river, more opportunities for us to make it about us or about Him; all chances for God to be first and us to be second.

Pulled from:  something Significant happened today… – January 2009

…nothing happened with our adoption dossier in Haiti. january 7th has come and gone. we didn’t get in. as far as we know, we are no longer “eligible” to adopt from Haiti.

today, man put another obstacle in our path. today, man cut another bend in the road of our journey. today, man told us to turn around, go home, give up….

but something Significant happened today…

Today, man successfully added another milestone that will be overcome in this journey of faith. Today, man added another marker that will one day point to the power of our Father. Today, man drafted another beautiful page in the story, our adoption story, that will eventually be told to testify of how our God is faithful and worthy to be praised. Today, just as yesterday, and just like tomorrow, we chose to trust and obey. Today, we chose not to turn around, not to go home, not to give up. Today, our paperwork might not have moved forward but we did.

The significance of the events of today will one day be illuminated in the testimony of how God made perfect His plan in orchestrating our homecoming with Naomie.

….something Significant happened today!

Pulled from:  Happenings – January 2009

– Remember the “significance” of January 7th?  Remember how we elected to testify of God’s perfect plan in spite of the uncertainty of the moment?  Well, check this news out…tangible evidence that our God is at work breaking through at least one of the obstacles put before us:

“On Thursday, January 15, 2009, President Preval had a meeting with the new IBESR director regarding the issue of families who have biological children who want to adopt in Haiti. President Preval told the IBESR director that the families should be able to adopt in Haiti even if these families have biological children. Good News for many children in Haiti & for those families who want to adopt them!”

Pulled from:  Bullet Post – February 2009

We recently got word from Haiti that the 35/10/0 law from 1974 is indeed being enforced. That is both parents have to be 35 years old, been married for 10 years, and have 0 kids. Don’t meet those requirements and you can’t adopt from Haiti. Sarah is 29, I am 33, we have been married for 9 years, and we have 2 kids. Our orphanage is questioning us on how we want to proceed……I still don’t really have a response for them. We definitely have better questions than we have answers right now. We know God invited us to walk down this path of adoption from Haiti. We don’t think He orchestrated our paths to cross with Naomi’s just to be introduced to her…..so how do you convince an orphanage to walk down this journey of faith with you? One thing is for sure, a walk in the park is not what we signed up for; but rather an adventure down the narrow less traveled road, full of painful tests of faith and challenges of trust.

Pulled from:  Adoption Update (posted by Sarah) – April 2009

A lot of you have been asking, “Will you be bringing Naomi home on this trip?”. I would love to tell you yes, but it simply isn’t so. We are a long way from it. Jason and I are telling ourselves 2 years. Two years from when, you ask – I don’t know. If you ask me, I will probably say, “Our hope is by the end of 2010.” I do realize that doesn’t quite add up to two years, but I can’t quite get 2011 to come out of my mouth. I am praying for 2010. Why not? God is big!! You see, as Jason has explained in earlier posts, we simply do not meet the requirements to adopt from Haiti. And to meet those, I would have to quickly age by 6 yrs, Jason 3 yrs, and somehow hide our 2 bio children. Meeting those requirements is not happening anytime soon.

Pulled from:  Life just got a lot harder… – May 2009

We had to say goodbye to Naomi tonight. I don’t really have words to explain how I feel. Not good; it is not well with my soul. I have really struggled this weekend. Life just got a lot harder now that I have loved on this little girl and convinced her to call me Papa. Honestly, faith and trust when put in context of this adoption are words I really don’t want to hear, believe, or live right now. I want assurance that it will all work out; assurance that in spite of the fact Haiti doesn’t think I am fit to be her father, God will somehow, someway, trump the system. Suddenly it seems like a lot of what I have been saying about this adoption was just lip service. The path seems narrower, miles longer, and much more treacherous than expected.

Pulled from:  So is this an adoption blog or what? – June 2009

SLOW…that’s how things are going. Almost a year after taking this leap of faith, we are still basically waiting to get this adoption off the ground. That is NOT to say that MUCH (if much was ever an understatement it would be now) hasn’t happened over this past year. Our faith journey has lead us straight to Naomi. And what a blessing to our family she is. She has challenged and taught us, bent and broke us.

At this moment we are still waiting to get our dossier (collection of adoption papers) submitted into Haiti’s IBESR (basically Haitian Social Services). It remains one of the longest, most critical, and faith/trust testing steps in the entire Haitian adoption process. They are still operating under the 35/10/0 law (basically Age/Years Married/Number of children) but recent activity has shown that there is once again some leniency on the 10/0 part.

During our May visit to Haiti, I was able to sit with our orphanage director/crew and testify to them about our assurance of God’s calling and commitment to walk this path, no matter what, for as long as He commands us. Their response, “We will walk this path with you and take our direction from you as you take your direction from God!” They even committed to attempt to submit our dossier to IBESR even though we know fully that we don’t meet the current “law”. Their prayer, “Lord, place scales over their (IBESR workers) eyes, allow these papers to fall onto the right desk, and advance this adoption as only you can.”

Rest assured, we are committed to trusting God and testing His faithfulness. Not easy, not even how I would necessarily like it…but definitely required.

With that, please echo the prayers of our adoption advocates in Haiti. Pray specifically for our dossier, that it will be accepted into IBESR. Pray for wisdom and perseverance for our adoption advocates in Haiti and their willingness to continue to fight the system of corruption in the name of releasing orphans to their forever families.

Pulled from:  What can you do? – June 2009

Word is our adoption advocates in Haiti are going to try to submit our dossier into IBESR this week despite the fact that we don’t officially meet the adoption “requirements”.  Just read through our newly updated (your welcome) Adoption Story if you are wondering what the “requirements” are and why we would be trying to adopt when we don’t “officially” meet them…….lots of “quotation” marks being used, huh?

Please pray that IBESR will take them.  And pray for something God sized to happen; not only will they take them but they will fly through the system in record time.  I believe, or at least am trying my best to, do you?  If you do, please pray.  If you don’t, please pray and let’s grow in this faith/trust thing together.

Pulled from:  Adoption Reality – September 2009

I asked Sarah if I could share a recent email dialog she had with one of our adoption advocates in Haiti.  Our adoption isn’t easy.  Walking by faith is a daily battle of wills; ours versus His.  Here is a small glimpse into our adoption reality…..

– from Sarah –

“I need some counsel this morning.  As if you don’t have enough to do already.  I just knew that you would understand and maybe could help me.  Please do not take any of this the wrong way.

I am really struggling with coming to see Naomi.  Our adoption at the moment, as you well know, is not moving too much.  Well not at all really.  And I just can’t figure out or seem to have a peace about our visiting Naomi with there being so much uncertainty about when the adoption will begin to be in process.  Please know, I am not doubting this adoption.  I have complete faith that this is going to be an amazing miracle of God.  I just want to do what is best for her.  And I guess I am just trying to figure out if visiting her and leaving her so often when the adoption has not even begun, is right.  Is any of this making sense?  I literally have been physically ill to my stomach worrying about this.  I love her so much and just want to do the right thing.

Can you please just be very honest with me?  You know Naomi so well, being with her everyday.  I only want to do what is best for her.

Thank you for “listening”.  You have no idea how much we appreciate what you do. Please give Naomi huge hug from me! Tell her we love her!”

– from adoption advocate –

“My heart just aches for you – and your family.   Please know how very much I love your ‘mother’s heart’!

It is interesting that you should email now.  I have been watching Naomi quite a bit recently, thinking what a GOOD thing it is that you are coming.  She has been struggling a bit.  A bit moodier, a little less inclined to obey, and I have thought how grateful I am that you will soon be here.

In my opinion, she needs that intense one-on-one “I love you MORE than anyone else in this world!” time that she gets from you.  She needs that settled feeling of knowing that she is valued.  As I have watched her behavior after your earlier visits, I have seen how it has truly impacted her in positive ways.  She is happier, more joyful, more energetic, and so content.

I really struggle with knowing what is right here – she will come to my house by herself or with (other orphan) two to three times each week.  It’s kind of like coming to grandma’s house – they get different snacks, and have a bit more freedom in terms of play time – sometimes they get to watch a video.  But when she has to go back to the girl’s house she is so sad.  She and (my child) are just six weeks apart in age, and so I think she has trouble understanding why (my child) gets to stay and she has to go.  What I’m trying to say is this – she knows that I love her, but she also knows that it is different with (my child).

When you are here – it’s all about Naomi – and she knows it.  That has been powerful in her life.   If you’re in this for the long haul (which you’ve never given me any reason to believe that you are not) I would try to budget in trips to see her every 3 to 4 months.

Just want you to know that I understand what you’re asking – I really appreciate your sensitivity to Naomi and the entire situation – and I want to do what I can to help your family to survive these upcoming months and years well!  If, after prayer and quiet reflection with our Lord, you decide that it is not best to come at this time – I will completely support that decision – and will welcome any ideas that you may have for keeping your connection with Naomi during this time of waiting.”

– from Jason –

If you have walked this road before and have received wise counsel on how to handle this….please share. Public or Private.  If you are a counselor, pastor, child psychologist, or social/adoption worker with insight….please share.  Public or Private.  This is shaky ground for us, we don’t have it figured out, we don’t have the “right” answers, we need help.  If you haven’t walked this road, we would love to have your encouragement/prayer.  Public or Private.  But, respectfully, keep your “opinions” regarding whether you think  we should or shouldn’t be visiting our daughter at this stage to yourself….love ya, mean it.

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One Response to “Adoption Story”

  1. Hi! This is Byron and Shelley’s oldest daughter – just wanted to say that I found your blog and am just loving on your daughter – she’s such a joy, as you both know. If you ever want to check out my blog – feel free!
    ~Nan Bondye,

    Chelsey

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